Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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