Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
