this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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