plz talk dirty to me
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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