As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
