Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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