ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
