In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
