So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
