I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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