can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
