My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
