so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
