I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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