walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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