And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
