i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
