I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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