I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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