i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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