to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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