Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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