Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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