i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
