the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Randomize
