Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
