All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
