Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
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i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
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Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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