Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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