Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
