One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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