I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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