not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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