physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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