Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
