I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
