He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
