From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?