Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling

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(914): so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling http://tfl.nu/v4vu

Replies (38) Good night (4543) Bad night (736)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.

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(862): She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times. http://tfl.nu/p78w

Replies (22) Good night (4419) Bad night (546)
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(770): View more from Georgia

i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.

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(770): i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles. http://tfl.nu/d3lp

Replies (7) Good night (2785) Bad night (1117) Order T-Shirt
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(910): View more from North Carolina

ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.

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(910): ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality. http://tfl.nu/m81e

Replies (5) Good night (1404) Bad night (3437) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.

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(314): The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order. http://tfl.nu/ghcj

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(330): View more from Ohio

So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night

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(330): So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night http://tfl.nu/sszo

Replies (4) Good night (1300) Bad night (2659) Order T-Shirt
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.

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(704): Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining. http://tfl.nu/owux

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(530): View more from California

and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.

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(530): and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters. http://tfl.nu/hxhg

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(410): View more from Maryland

So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?

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(410): So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right? http://tfl.nu/zwo3

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.

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(306): We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit. http://tfl.nu/ure1

Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (868)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.

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(609): That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night. http://tfl.nu/lop5

Replies (2) Good night (423) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.

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(970): I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life. http://tfl.nu/eqcg

Replies (21) Good night (1282) Bad night (944)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.

(440): View more from Ohio

Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.

(304): View more from West Virginia

She seemed pretty into it.

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(304): I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl. (440): Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that. (304): She seemed pretty into it. http://tfl.nu/8b1w

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it

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(780): Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it http://tfl.nu/2d0a

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(330): View more from Ohio

Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?

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(330): Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship? http://tfl.nu/gnhb

Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (160)

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