I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.