Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram