Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
