so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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