i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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