he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
