good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
