Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
