but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
