I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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