Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
