I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
