I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
