There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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