yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
