Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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