My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
