I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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