there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
