I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
