i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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