Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
