she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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