Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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