youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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