Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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