Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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