my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
