____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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