and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
its not stalking. its research.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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