Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
