No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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