you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
