Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
