Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
